


finally better than your dreams

by oh-how-charming (twofourteen)



Series: the best thing in the world (except for cough drops) [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - Human, Always Female Stiles Stilinski, Female Stiles Stilinski, Mentions to sexual activity between two consenting adults, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24417937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twofourteen/pseuds/oh-how-charming
Summary: “I thought I paid you back with the wilderness sex.”“The high risk that we had for poison ivy on my delicate bites still scares me..."
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: the best thing in the world (except for cough drops) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738996
Comments: 2
Kudos: 94





	finally better than your dreams

**Author's Note:**

> In which my favorite universe has various insomnia related adventures. 
> 
> No beta, no plot, just some scenes that I am using to keep away end of the world madness.
> 
> Title from -- “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." - Dr. Seuss

She flopped around on the bed, trying to get comfortable. She rearranged the sheets. Took off clothes. Put on extra clothes. Brushed her teeth again. Read a few chapters of her book. Masturbated. Counted sheep. Ran on the treadmill. Organized the junk drawer in the kitchen. Cleaned the bathroom. And she still couldn’t fall asleep. 

She nudged Derek, who groaned, “Are you awake?”

“No.”

“I can’t sleep.”

“Try harder.”

“I  _ did _ .”

“Try harder-er.”

“I’ve done  _ everything _ .”

Derek’s words were muffled as half his face was stuff smooshed into his pillow. “The world is full of infinite possibilities…”

“I exercised.”   


“Mmmph.”

“I cleaned.”

“Mmhmmph.”

“I got off - sitting right next to you, FYI.”

“...mm-ph-what?” He half opened one eye.

“Right here. Used these fingers you're so fond of too.” She wiggled her hand in front of his face as he half opened his other eye.

“Mean.”

“Touched myself here.” She ran her hand down her neck.

“Mmm.” He dislodged his arm from under his pillow, throwing it across her lap.

“Touched myself here.” Her hand continued, running over the curve of her breast.

“Hmmhhhhhhgg.” Both eyes were focused on her now, albeit sleepily focused.

“Then, touched myself here.” She slid her hand down between her legs, the over to grab his that had been thrown over her legs.

“ _ Stiiiles _ .” His hand was now under hers, pressed against the heat radiating between her legs. 

She grinned at him, pulling the blankets off him. “You need to put zero effort into this, aside from a hard dick. I’ll do all the work.”

Derek slowly huffed out a laugh, sort of halfway to awake by now. “If I  _ must _ , anything for you.”

-

They had spent the night at Derek’s - after an early afternoon hike (“Derek, this isn’t a date. This is weird chafing and pools of sweat in weird crevices.” “So, our normal Saturday routine?” Derek wiggled his eyebrows and Stiles kicked a clod of dirt at him. “I have a wedgie! And all this fresh air is making me woozy.”) turned into them going to bed pathetically early. Like, the sun hadn’t even set and they were tucking themselves in like a couple of senior citizens after a crazy night of bingo. So, when Derek blinked awake at 3:00am, he wasn’t all that shocked to find the other side of the bed empty. He heard the murmur of the TV from the living room and made his way out to investigate. 

Stiles was sitting on the couch, a blanket wrapped around her body. Derek snuck a kiss against the little bit of neck that was exposed and spoke against her skin, “What’re you watching?”

She leaned back, the television reflecting in her eyes, “The only good thing to watch at 3:14 in the morning.” She grinned sleepily at him.

“Pay Per View porn?”

“Obviously.” Derek looked up at the screen and saw some Food Network show starting up after a commercial break; it was some ridiculous competition involving cupcakes. 

Stiles leaned back so her head was resting against the back of the couch and against Derek’s thigh, “Since I am more awake now than I have ever been in all of time and space because of that stupid hike -” She rolled over, throwing the blankets off of her and pulling herself close to Derek with the leverage of her hands tight against his ass, Derek only grunted a little getting the woodframe of the couch pushed against delicate bits for a second. “- you owe me.”

“I thought I paid you back with the wilderness sex.”

“The high risk that we had for poison ivy on my delicate bites still scares me - and that was for the hike  _ up _ . You still owe me for the hike  _ down the mountain _ .” 

She had now contorted and flailed enough so she was sitting on the back of the couch, Derek in the v of her legs. Her hands were pressing against his still sleep warm skin. 

“It’s not going to do me any good to remind you that I basically carried you down the mountain, is it?”

“Hey! Piggy back riders use a lot of their core muscles not to … uh… fall off.”

“Uh huh.”

They sat in silence, Stiles hands moving into Derek’s sweatpants, running her shortened nails over the fabric of his boxer briefs. Derek’s hands were gently holding her shoulders, so she didn’t pull a Stiles and flail backwards and get a concussion from the coffee table.

After another beat of silence, and Derek tugging a little at her hair she looked up at him, “I just really think that cupcakes are an excellent idea for our 3:00am slumber party.”

“What part of who I am as a person tells you that I have cupcake ingredients in my kitchen at any given moment?”

Stiles squinted at him, fixing him with a look, “I know for a  _ fact _ that there have been multiple tea parties held here for Tilly and Maddy because you are the most adorable uncle  _ ever _ . Don’t even try and lie to me.” Stiles scrambled around Derek to make it to the kitchen. “I bet you have adorable cupcake liners and everything.”

Five minutes later, with every cupboard door open in his kitchen, Derek leaned against the counter and tapped one of the doors closed, “Like I said…”

“How do you have 6 different kinds of protein powder and no cupcake mix?!”   


“...I feel like those aren’t usually mutually exclusive. Probably more excluded.”

-

“You’re  _ drunk _ .” Stiles moved her lips against Derek’s collarbone as she talked, “You’re so drunk. You’re ‘teenage girl getting drunk on wine coolers in her mom’s basement for the first time’ drunk.” She was tugging at Derek’s shirt, pulling it out from where it was tucked into his slacks.

Derek closed his eyes, blocking out the street lights because  _ wow those were bright _ . “Why did I agree to drink with Laura… too many shots.”

Stiles was now unbuttoning his shirt, working one hand against the buttons, slowly, and the other rubbing across each new exposed part of his stomach. “I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me blow you in the coat room.  _ Rude _ .” She pinched his side lightly.

“That…  _ ow _ … that wasn’t a  _ coat room _ . That was my  _ parents’ _ entry closet.”

“Potatoes. Tomatoes.”

“That’s.... What?”

“You better not have whiskey dick. I’mma choke on it…” Stiles grinned, her lips still sliding across his neck. She blindly reached for his belt, trying to get it undone while using blind drunk groping.

Suddenly there was the very loud throat clearing from the drivers’ seat and an amused voice, “We’re almost to your destination. Don’t make me charge you the cleaning rate for jizz stains and vomit.”

-

Derek was wrapping up the last few hours of his overnight shift; he had spent most of it at a shooting talking to a lot of unwilling witnesses and he was just spent. It was just after 5:00 in the morning, he had finally booked the suspects and was just wrapping up some paperwork when his office door clicked shut and a small bag dropped on top of the folder he just closed. He looked up, and smiled as Stiles pushed her behind his desk and into his lap. She was still in her pajamas, which thankfully included pants.

She nuzzled against him, yawning, “Got your favorite for the last few hours. Bed too empty. Miko was farting all night and kept me up.”

Derek huffed out a laugh against her forehead, “You’re the one that wanted to try the new food.”

“Horrible mistake. Horrible.” They sat there for a minute, and then Stiles pushed herself to a standing position. “I got two big boxes for everyone else. I drank your coffee.” She grinned.

“Now you really aren’t going to sleep.”

She waved her hand at nothing, “It’s like water to me at this point.” She yawned again and leaned down, pulling him close by his tie, and with her eyes closed planted a kiss against… well, she kissed his eyeball but whatever.

“Thanks for the pick-me-up, baby. Go get some sleep.” She grinned as she walked backwards, hitting the side of his desk a little, rustling some papers.

She opened the door back up, “Ya know, if the office was less occupied and you weren’t, ya know, fighting crime, I’d make you take me right here over this desk.” She yawned again, wiggling her eyebrows. “Oh - morning Parrish. I brought doughnuts.” 

Derek rubbed his hand across his face, ears somehow still able to go a little pink with Stiles’ openness, especially when tired. She gave him the double finger guns, blowing imaginary smoke off her pointer fingers, “Keep fighting crime hot stuff. I’ll keep the bed warm for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the kudos on all the other scene dumps. It definitely makes my grinchy little heart grow three sizes.
> 
> I literally spent an hour of my life creating a Hale family tree so I could introduce all his siblings and cherub nieces and nephews and hot ass brothers and sisters in other scenes.


End file.
